It is NOT the most wonderful time of the year.

     That time of the year is here. Thanksgiving is next week, and Christmas not far behind it. A time of feasting, spending time with family, and giving thanks for all the blessings in our lives. Of course, for us law students, it's a time of rushing and panicking and wondering why OH WHY did I spend all my Thursdays off napping and watching reruns of the New Adventures of Old Christine on Lifetime (don't judge). I tend to be a kind of fidgety, nervous person anyway, but usually there is some event that lets me know I'm teetering precariously near to the edge of sanity. That moment occurred today.
     Yes, just moments ago I found myself both bawling and laughing, curled in a ball in my living room floor as my little sister stared on in a bizarre combination of amusement and horror. Why???, you must be asking yourself. What horrible event has propelled you to this state of insanity that is surely worse than at least 37% of the patients at Bryce Hospital. The answer, my dear readers, is the scariest part of this whole sordid tale.
     I bought the wrong kind of coffee. Seattle's Best was on sale at Publix. I didn't see the miniscule label on the front saying it was whole beans. I don't own a grinder. I gasped as I stared at those beans as giggles and tears escaped my body all at once. I managed to get the words, "I bought WHOLE BEANS" out to my poor confused sister as I crumpled on the floor, dissolving into a giggling, tear-faced puddle.
     As I don't own a mortar and pestle either, I was reduced to the second option I found upon googling my problem. I cackled evilly as I banged my Daddy's tailgate tent pitching mallet against the ziplock bag filled with those damn coffee beans. It's actually a pretty good stress reliever. I just wish I had bought Level 4 instead of Level 3 because frankly, the oddly shaped coffee bean chunks I dumped into the filter of my coffee maker do not yield a very strong product. Oh well, I'm sure my mallet wielding skills will improve as the semester winds down and I endure the full brunt of law school exam season.
    Let this be a cautionary tale to you all. Read the labels in the grocery store. Don't get too stressed. And when all else fails, hitting shit with a hammer will make you feel a hell of a lot better.